Roulette
by RegenesisX
Summary: In which characters, scenarios, and locations are randomly selected and the universe descends into chaos. CURRENT CHAPTER: Grell will keep Ciel's secret, but his silence comes with a price.
1. The Rules

This is Kuroshitsuji. I don't know what I'm doing here, but I'm doing it.

**WARNING:** Utter, utter insanity. Proceed with caution.

* * *

**Welcome to Roulette!**

_What is Roulette?_

Roulette is a writing prompt game that I created out of possibly a little bit of genius, but mostly lots of boredom and writer's block. It involves randomly selected characters, scenarios, and locations, and writing a short scene based on those elements.

**The Rules:**

Two cards are drawn from the pile of character names. Next, a scenario/object is drawn. Finally, a location.

The **characters** are from the Kuroshitsuji manga _only_, as it wasn't working to have the anime-only characters involved. The **scenarios** are in a "character A/character B" format, such as "character A wants to marry character B." "A" is the first character drawn, while "B" is the second character. Occasionally, the scenario will call for a "character C," which is a third drawn character. And sometimes the card drawn will be a single **object** the characters must interact with. The **locations** are various locations in the Kuroshitsuji that all characters would have access to.

The cards are still being adjusted to maximize hilarity and minimize timeline/logic infractions, so some things may be changed in the future.


	2. Grave Importance

**Characters:** Aleister Chambers, Charles Grey (character C: Undertaker)

**Scenario:** Character A tells Character B news of pregnancy

**Location:** Character C's grave

**Warning:** Well, you read the characters and the scenario...

* * *

**Roulette**

_"Please refrain from catching on fire by yourself." ~ Sebastian Michaelis_

A somber note hung in the air, sustained by the rain falling from the overcast sky. Earl Charles Grey stood, squashed under an umbrella with the Viscount of Druitt, Lord Aleister Chamber, in the middle of a graveyard. Water rolled down the front of the freshly-placed headstone, rivulets dripping into the letters chiseled into the marble. The grave simply read "UNDERTAKER." No dates.

The viscount, as always, was the first to break the silence. "How very tragic," he said, "that a life, _this_ life, should be taken from us before the bud of his future could burst forth into gloriously full bloom. He is trapped amongst the stars, doomed to peer down from behind those heavenly gates and wonder what his life could have been. Ah, remorse! My heart grows weary with sorrow."

The Earl Grey slid his gaze over to Aleister. "You knew him?"

"Not really, no. But imagine the passion in his life—the romance, the intrigue! The fire of a thousands suns couldn't come close to the searing heat between him and his beloved—"

"He was a funeral director."

Charles had yet to find someone who could transition as seamlessly between random trains of thought as Aleister Chamber. The viscount threw his head back dramatically and laid the back of his hand over his forehead as though he might faint. The earl hoped he would not.

"Corpses! The burning passion of an artist as he prepares the dead for their final, breathtaking unveiling!" The viscount began to swoon and sway, and Charles ducked to avoid his flailing arm. "How masterfully he caresses their lifeless skin, like the delicate petals of a lily. Such perfect flowers of death! And now he has succumbed to that very same fate!"

"If you were looking to publish an obituary for the man, I believe you've brought along the wrong person."

"Ah, but Charles..." Aleister wheeled around, gripping Charles' shoulders with such force that he instinctively started to reach for his sword. "I have something of grave importance to tell you. That is why I have brought you here."

Charles could have sworn he heard the sound of disembodied laughter through the rain.

"As surely as there is death, there is also life; I feel it with every breath I breathe! Yes, the life of a new life! The insurmountable passion that leads to the bearing of fruit in the womb of the most succulent—"

"Would you get to the point already?"

"I am with child."

"You're _what?" _It had to have been the rain. It was too noisy outside, and he'd simply heard the viscount wrong. That was the only logical explanation.

But Aleister Chamber was the very definition of defying logical explanation. "I am with child." He spun Charles in a tight circle, nearly causing the earl to lose his footing on the wet grass. "The throes of our passion together have left me—"

_"__Hold on a minute!"_ Letting go of the umbrella, Charles gripped the lapels of Aleister's coat so tightly his knuckles turned while. "Where the hell do you get off dragging _me_ into this?"

The viscount slumped against him, clutching weakly at his sleeves. "But it _was_ you, Charles—"

"What are you on about? We've played billiards together!"

"Passionate, _passionate_ billiards."

Strangling the man was starting to become rather tempting. "Passionate or not, that's a rather big leap you're making," Charles snapped. "Even if you could conceive a child, I highly doubt it could be done through a game of billiards."

"_If_ I could? Earl, you wound me!" Aleister swooned again and, this time, Charles let him hit the ground. "The flower of my body has blossomed for you like a songbird freeing its music for the first time! I beseech thee, Charles, please; you must fly me away to a world without regrets where we can be together forever! Charles, my loooooove!"

Clearly, Aleister was out of his mind.

"You're not the first irritating noble I've taken care of." The Earl Grey drew his sword, laying the tip across Aleister's throat. "I shall rid the world of your flowery nonsense!"

It was then that something was struck against the back of his head and Charles' knees crumpled. The slick, muddy ground came up to meet him and the last thing he remembered before blacking out was hearing that strange laughter again.

_"__Ihihihihi... But what a shame that would be."_

* * *

**A/N:** What a way to start off a series. Aleister Chamber is actually one of my favorite characters, simply because I love to hate him. I think he might've gone a little bit Grell on me towards the end, but I suppose, considering the subject matter, there wasn't much avoiding it.

Thank you so much for reading. Passionate billiards for everyone! :D

**_RegenesisX_**


	3. The Reaper's True Power

**Characters:** Grell Sutcliff, Ciel Phantomhive (and a bit of Ronald Knox at the end)

**Scenario:** Character A threatens to reveal Character B's secret

**Location:** The graveyard... again.

* * *

**Roulette**

_"That's a secret." ~ Undertaker_

"What do you want?"

In retrospect, it wasn't all that unusual for the redheaded shinigami to show up out of the blue, but Ciel was rather loathe to use _Grell Sutcliff_ and _normal_ in the same sentence. It certainly wasn't _normal_ for Grell to kidnap him from the sanctity his home and demand that they take a walk through a graveyard of all places. Calling for Sebastian had been Ciel's first instinct, but he'd eventually dismissed the idea. That was obviously what Grell wanted and the very last thing Ciel felt like doing was wasting Sebastian's time trying to kill the reaper. His butler had more important things to be doing, like preparing dinner and making sure the house didn't burn down... again. No, Ciel decided it was best to simply wait the situation out.

"Well?" Ciel prompted again when he received no immediate response. "What is it?"

Much to the earl's annoyance, Grell showed no signs of having heard him. The reaper was leaning up against a rather tall stone monument, examining his scarlet nails with a bored expression. One of his legs was propped up against the monument and Ciel could see mud caked on the bottom of his shoe. Ciel absently wondered if it had been difficult to walk across grass in those heels.

"Have you gone deaf, or are you just stupid?" Ciel's patience was quickly wearing thin. "What did you drag me out here for? Speak up!"

Grell abruptly ceased his fascination with his nails and his yellow-green gaze snapped over to Ciel. "You know, for someone so small, you've got an awfully big mouth."

"Don't you have supervisors to pester or something? I can't be the only one repulsed by your existence."

"Do you think it wise to mouth off to a shinigami?" Grell's lips parted in a snarl. "After all, your precious Sebas-chan isn't here to save you this time."

Ciel folded his arms. "It would be a grotesque breach of contract for Sebastian to allow my soul to be taken by the likes of _you_."

"Ah, it's just as well I don't want your grubby soul. Although, who knows? You might look rather fetching torn apart and splattered in crimson."

Balling his fists, Ciel glowered at the reaper. Perhaps it would've been better to call for Sebastian after all. "Did you bring me here just so you could insult me?"

"My, my, you really are sensitive if you think _this_ is insulting."

It was ridiculous to subject himself to Grell's taunting any longer. Ciel spun on his heel and began marching back the direction they had come from. He was trying to determine where exactly he could hail a coach from—perhaps the Undertaker had business somewhere in the cemetery that day—when Grell's voice floated after him.

"Leaving so soon? You're not even a little bit curious about the Cinematic Records?"

Ciel halted. _Cinematic Records, eh?_ "What about them?" Suddenly, Grell was hanging over his shoulder. Startled, Ciel spun around and stumbled backwards a few steps to put distance between them.

"Cinematic Records are how we reapers determine whether or not a human dies. We review them upon death to make that decision."

"Yes, I'm aware of this already."

But Grell paid him no mind and soldiered on with his explanation. "That means that we have access to viewing every moment a person has lived. _Every. Single. One."_

Dread began to pool in the bottom of Ciel's stomach, creeping nauseatingly slowly upwards. He wasn't sure where this was going, but it wasn't hard to tell that it wasn't going anywhere good. "So?"

"Oh, let's just say us reapers are..." Grell tapped a nail against his chin while he mulled over the right word. "_...privy_ to certain information. Certain information that you humans would _hate_ to have end up in the wrong hands."

Ciel's eyes widened. "Why you—" He lunged for Grell, but the reaper simply danced away, wagging a chastising finger.

"Ah, ah! Is that any way to treat a lady? Surely you were raised better than that!"

"You don't know anything!"

A wide grin spread across Grell's face, flashing his razor-sharp teeth in all their glory. "Is that soooo? I suppose I'll just have to tell Elizabeth about that _other_ girl, then."

Ciel froze. "I don't... I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh reeeeaally? Because I would think your dear Lizzy would be just _dying_ to hear about how her earl so carelessly betrayed her."

"It wasn't like that!" Ciel sputtered, his dread bubbling up into panic. "As the Earl Phantomhive, I was obligated to dance with her! It wasn't like I _wanted_ to do it!"

"Do you really think Lizzy will see it that way? After all, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

As much as he hated to admit it, Grell had a point. If Lizzy were to find out he'd been dancing with another girl at a ball, she'd... Ciel swallowed. He didn't want to think about it. Irate, he turned his attention back to Grell and lashed out to grab the front of the reaper's shirt. "I forbid you from speaking of this to her!"

"Do you, now?" Grell purred.

Ciel shook him. "I am Ciel, Earl Phantomhive, the Queen's Guard Dog!"

"A title that means nothing to the likes of me, I'm afraid."

Letting out a frustrated snarl, Ciel released him. "What the hell do you want?"

Grell didn't answer right away. He took his time straightening his shirt and fixing his glasses before hooking a finger underneath Ciel's chin to tilt his face up. "Oh, I think you know what I want."

* * *

Ronald Knox watched as Grell and the Phantomhive kid parted ways from behind a nearby mausoleum. The boy looked downright murderous as he stalked back down the hill, furiously ripping off his eyepatch, while Grell looked excited enough to burst. He respected his mentor, certainly, but a line had to be drawn somewhere.

"Ya know, senpai..." Ronald scratched the back of his head as he stepped out from behind the stone building. "When you said we had to make a slight detour, I thought you meant a bridge was out or something..."

"A bridge _was_ out, my dear Ronald, but as you can see, I, the champion of love, have managed to leap that gap. Now we may continue on our mission forthwith. But first..." Grell thrust out his hands towards Ronald. "Carry me."

_"__Carry you?_ What for?"

Lifting one of his legs, Grell pointed at the heel of his shoe. It was entirely covered in mud. "Either you carry me or I'll be using that nice, clean jacket of yours to wipe them off."

"Geez, senpai..." Ronald reluctantly stepped forward to wrap an arm around Grell's waist, then bent down to hook his other elbow underneath the redhead's knees. "And here I wanted to avoid overtime... You're lucky I'm not going to tell Mr. Spears about all of your rule-infracting."

Grell sighed, leaning his head against Ronald's shoulder. "This isn't nearly as romantic as I had hoped it would be. What rule-infracting?"

"I'm sorry." Ronald stumbled forward a few paces before he found his footing with the added weight of his mentor. "We're not supposed to look at Cinematic Records before a person is supposed to die. We could accidentally kill them that way."

"Mm, Ronald, have you been studying?"

"It's basic procedure."

Shuddering, Grell pulled a face. "_Procedure._ What a disgusting word. Don't use such foul language around a lady."

"Sorry, senpai."

"Either way, you're correct, but I've never seen _Earl Phantomhive's_ Cinematic Record. I never said I had."

"What? Then how did you—?"

"Oh, my dear Ronald. It seems that I still have much to teach you in the art of blackmail. And I'll start right after my date with Sebas-chan!"

* * *

**A/N:** I decided it would be best to use some more familiar characters this time around, so we have Ciel and Grell! And Ronald. I rather adore the way he and Grell interact with each other. But I rather adore Grell in general. Writing him is going to take some getting used-to.

Thank you for reading!

**_RegenesisX_**


End file.
